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Breaking up is hard to do
Nothing personal. We’ve had a great relationship. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry for the short notice but I’m feeling brave today. It’s been a blast to hang out together after work every night. Remember how fun it was to crank up the stereo and clean the house and then as a reward for a great day OR as a consolation for a stressful day OR as a routine for a routine day…we drank together at night. But I have to move on and get control of my health and many of my bad eating choices have been in your company. You introduced me to your friends: Wings, Nachos, Pizza and Chips. I’m dumping them too. Don’t call or text or yell out to me when we see each other at the grocery store because I will ignore you. I’m better than you…no offense.
Thanks Dee—I know relationships can be hard.
I had considered taking your sloppy seconds but then I met Kale and Broccoli. They are both so wonderful, I can’t choose. I’m going for the threesome! Please don’t judge!