Dear Gym Bag,
I have to confess that I am unfulfilled in our relationship right now. It’s not you, it’s me. I have allowed these drought filled dog days of 100 degree heat to play tricks on my mind. I have left you sweltering in the car all day while I worked only to come outside and blow you off without giving you any love because I was tired and too hot to go running. I’m no better than the people leaving dogs and kids in cars in this heat. I have been selfish! It would be easy for me to wake up earlier and hook up with you in the am. You always leave me feeling refreshed, energetic, sweaty, and confident! I can’t believe I have failed my loyal love drug! I would like to renew my vows with you again next week. In any good committed relationship or marriage, if you aren’t working on it, it’s won’t work. I’m seeking therapy now. I recently read that people cheat in relationships because of loneliness and I can’t revisit my toxic romance with Diet Mtn Dew–it left me drained, depressed and I have moved on. Please accept my apology and know that you are my Christian Grey–and I do love what you do for me!