Psychologists can read verbal and physical clues between a couple in the first few minutes of interacting with them. I recently learned of a theory that could predict whether a couple will stay together that is incredibly accurate and relatively simple. It’s called the 5:1 rule. For every one negative comment or physical gesture, the couples that had five positive ones to every one negative were most likely to make it in their relationships. For example, a positive touch, glance or affirmation for the other person strongly outweighs a negative/judgemental comment. I have looked around at my relationships with all the people in my life–the most positive relationships are reassuring and create positive energy. I am challenging myself this week to try to outweigh any negative thought even toward myself with 5 positives. I challenge you to look at the most positive relationships in your life that you have and see if this concept applies?
New York—a place of culinary delight, the city that never sleeps–and unfortunately today, shut down and holed up because of hurricane Sandy. Well she may have been worthy of “Greased Lightening” but this kind of disaster is not welcomed with a Pink Lady slumber party! Our best wishes and tons of positive energy being sent to all those suffering the effects of Hurricane Sandy right now. It also prompts me to say ” Are you living the best life you can?” Did you actually wake up this am grateful for shelter, food, and health? I didn’t and I feel convicted saying that. We should all strive for happiness every day–this day could be our last — Simply become who you are and get on with your happy self!
So I’m questioning myself after my 18yo’s graduation today , in which I found pride and faith once again; Why did Whitney Houston lose her faith? She claimed that she found the “greatest strength to love herself ” but, she lost it when she allowed herself to succumb to her disease. As I honor her and miss my childhood memories of singing her greatest tunes –I pity her for letting life and “outside forces” bring her down. We all need to remember that we are warriors –crusaders and not the victims of life. We are “smart, kind, and important.” The diseases we bring upon ourselves are only the results of letting others that are more worldly become the winners. Please trust your inner Angel and remember that life is a journey –it doesn’t have to be a battle. Ask your higher power each day to make you attentive to all the signs that you may be given. I thank my id, ego, and superego daily these days for allowing me to find my “greatest love of all” –myself.
I had a wonderful Mother’s Day–I spent it laughing with true belly laughs doing mundane chores with my kids and family. I appreciate the blessings I have been given and especially take the time to think about them on these holidays! I’m lucky that my Mom is there to support me and not afflicted by disease— however, many people are and are not so lucky. I am more than thankful that Dee is a fabulous mom despite her woe for her own mother’s ailments. She has learned from the best example that keeping God or Kindness as your king will always lead you in the right direction.
Dee writes today:
“Mother’s day anthem for 2012. It was a great day. All that ever matters to me is getting to spend time with my mom and my daughters. Over the past few days, I’ve been in touch with my brother and sister more than usual and we were all three reminded of how close we are and how great our appreciation is for our mom. She currently lives in a nursing home after suffering a stroke when a brain aneurysm ruptured 20 years ago. She is wheelchair-bound and after surviving breast cancer a year and a half ago, she also was admitted to and then discharged from hospice for failure to thrive.
Today’s visit with her was, at her request, lunch at Bob Evans. She ordered a side dish of sausage gravy and biscuits, only eating half. From the time we picked her up she started thanking us for the “treat.” Then she stated and reiterated how blessed she is, for having a good home with fun activities, good food, and a lot of friends. When I walk into a nursing home and look around, just being there briefly is more than I care to be there. Her food is ground up in a food processor to make it easier to chew and it seems to be bland and flavorless. People around her moan and call out into thin air. And even though it is a very clean place, relatively, it sometimes smells like an outhouse.
|God actually, is everywhere, often in the shape of mothers!
And yet, my dear mother whose left breast is missing, and has no use of one leg or hand, is perpetually blessed. I’m blessed just to know her.”
I read a post on Facebook the other day–it said that giving up complaining is one of the 15 things that will make you truly happy. Apparently your mom is a step ahead of the rest of us. My father had a stroke a few years ago and was fortunate that it did not leave him paralyzed. It did affect his balance and he had to spend a few weeks in a rehabilitation center. It was a difficult time for all of us and we are blessed that he is doing well now. I think my vow in honor of your mom tomorrow will be to go an entire day without complaining about anything. It may be rough and I may have a really interesting post for you tomorrow –but, I will try. The best way to change the world is to change yourself!